Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Leftover Pasta

Leftover pasta meatsauce pile from my neighbor, and mixed vegetables from me.



Free food equals glory, and this meal was free. I added the vegetation for added flair and it was delicious. If you read my post from 10/4/2011 you know that I hate buying steamed vegetables from any professional food preparation outlet (aka: restaurants, caterers, etc.) because they just taste like water, so I decided to try my hand at the mysterious art of cooking to see if I could do any better. All I did was spray some veggies with water, put them in a bowl with the pasta shitpile, then hit the 2min button on the microwave. You know what happened? They tasted fucking amazing. Thus improving my experience for todays lunch but still leaving me baffled why restaurants can't figure this shit out. The leftovers from my awesome neighbor were good too.

Fun: 1,954.4
Aroma: 1,811.7
Tastiness: 2,021.0
Texture: 1,845.2

This lunch was a double awesome because not only was it free, but I also took part in the cooking process...which has now made my ego inflate to truly extraordinary proportions. I know, I know, I can already hear you apes saying to your apeselves "But all you did was put some vegetables in the microwave! That's not cooking! DURRHUUURRRRPPP!" Well, apes, I looked up the definition of "cook" in the dictionary:

"cook  /kʊk/ Show Spelled[kook] verb (used with object)
1.to prepare (food) by the use of heat, as by boiling, baking, or roasting.
2.to subject (anything) to the application of heat."

Let's focus on number two here: "2.to subject (anything) to the application of heat." Not only does this verify that I literally cooked something, but it also implies that I may be a master chef, and if master chefs were ranked like martial artists I would be considered a sixth degree black-belt. According to this definition one could say I cooked my girlfriends vagina last night, or, after I cooked her vag and she didn't immediately make me a turkey sandwich I swiftly cooked the right side of her face with the backside of my hand. My god I love this cooking stuff...

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