Anytime that I eat lunch and there is some sort of meat product involved it can be guaranteed that my opinions toward said lunch will be very biased. I love to eat the flesh of innocent animals, and when that flesh is ground up, peppered, then rolled into little balls and placed on top of a pizza it fills me with an almost euphoric sense of utter contentment. This occassion was no different. I got two boners while eating it. Very high scores all around. Nice work, company cafeteria!
Fun: 2,456.09
Aroma: 2,288.7
Tastiness: 2,489.7
Texture: 2,474.1
Combining meatballs with pizza was one of the most revolutionary ideas to come out of the 20th century. It makes me wonder if any of the recorded history that occurred before this creation is even worth remembering at all. Meatball pizza single-handedly brought about world peace and aligned all the religions of the world into understanding and tolerant groups of like-minded individuals, all seeking happiness, brotherhood, and enlightenment. Many of you may be calling me crazy right now, saying how the world is actually in a terrible state of confusion, hatred, and fear. You may be right, but only because you are adding to it by not enjoying your own slice of delicious meatball pizza and changing your outlook on life...
If world leaders would ever enact a national Meatball Pizza Day where no one is required to work, all that citizens had to do was enjoy their fill of delightfully playful meatball pizzas and share a slice of the same with less fortunate individuals in the community, the world would literally turn into a listful utopia of carefree, happy mammals overnight. Don't believe me? I challenge you to go to your nearest pizzeria and eat a slice of this beautiful wonder-food and not skip, clap and sing while doing so. You know it is impossible to even try eating meatball pizza without breaking into song. Admit it, you are humming to yourself right now just by reading about me eating a slice.
Stop sitting on your ass and complaining about everything, you assholes. Go out right now and eat some of this shit. It is amazing. Your happiness will undoubtedly have an affect on the people around you, and their improved demeanor will undoubtedly have an affect on the people around them, and so on and so forth. Start the revolution today. You don't even have to give me credit, all I want is world peace, and I don't think thats too much to ask...
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