Fruit Cup

Friday fruit cup day was a fucking unparalleled adventure this morning. Mario threw on his pink dirt bikin' sweater and I threw on some jams by Shakey Graves, the next thing we knew I somehow got drunk and he somehow got laid by a decent looking mexican chick who was hanging out by Home Depot. Awesome, right?

Now, a moment ago when I said I got drunk what I meant was that I didn't get drunk. That was a complete lie. I work in a large office building and that behavior is frowned upon, so instead I chugged a coffee and took myself to an even worse mental condition than being drunk: Coffee Cracked Brain. Once I get a morning joe in me I become Bradly Cooper in Limitless. The terrible thing is that all the focus is wasted on redundant processing tasks and not the true genius that I have to offer this world. On a lighter note, Mario actually did rail a mexican chick he found at Home Depot. Gotta focus on the positives in life.

Fruit Cup Friday is usually the pre-cursor to another weekly event in my life I like to call Wacky Self-Destruction Weekend Time. If you are not familiar with one of these it is a pretty simple concept: Either drink yourself into pit of despair that will linger until Monday, or play video games non-stop for 72 hours. Both activities, though enjoyable in moderation, are taken to the maximum limits that my body will allow which is exhausting...thus Fruit Cup Friday was born out of necessity in order to be fully fueled and lubed for the approaching madness.

F - 1,984.1
A - 652.4
T - 1,975.1
T - 1,244.1


Who doesn't like a good fruit cup? Nobody. Well, maybe one person, there is always an exception.