Turkey enchiladas? Every Thanksgiving I shove more turkey through my bowel tracts than an NFL defensive line so I know damn well what turkey looks and tastes like. Whatever was inside of these enchiladas looked exactly like what you would find inside of any mexican food dish: delicious, scrumpcious beef, but The lady said it was turkey and I was too sleepy from a hangover to argue so whatever, let's eat healthy. When eating mexican food I sometimes go into a mindless trance and blackout for short periods until the meal is done. This time was no different. When I came back to my senses the food was gone, my shirt looked like I had used it for a diaper, and I was bleeding out of my ear. I consider a lunch like that a victory every time. I hope I didn't harm any of my co-workers in the process.
Score:
Fun: 1,735.9
Aroma: 872.2
Tastiness: 2,212.6
Texture: 1,007.7
Summary: I'm just trying to watch my figure. Ya, right. It's never been hard to go into a bar, dump a few drinks down some girl, and then get her home with you for a few hours (or minutes) of drunken sexual revelry, however, by eating healthy and watching your figure you can usually increase the visual/aesthetic quality of the girl you get. Sure there are fat dudes and ugly dudes out there who can still pull some pretty amazing tail from time to time, but by keeping a slimish waistline a regular fella can get the same girl for a fraction of the effort. Hell, no effort at all really, and that was where my head was at with today's lunch.
Everyone knows turkey is healthy or something, I think, I don't know shit about it except that it makes you fall into a drooly coma after eating it. Aparently healthy people eat it because it is low in fat and cholesterol. I have no clue. Though after eating it I did feel slightly more self righteous, and almost took a walk to the restroom just so I could stare at my sexy, healthy ass in the mirror for a while. Later, when I went to the breakroom to get a drink I passed three female co-workers and I'm almost positive I heard all of them whisper to themselves: "That motherfucker looks like he knows how to eat a healthy and well balanced lunch. I Should find out where he goes for happy hour, get there early, start doing shots so I drown all my pathetic female inhibitions about being a slut, and then let him take me home and have sex with me in all sorts of strange and disturbing positions throughout his dirty, musty apartment." I know ladies. I am a sexy, selfish, conceited, arrogant bastard, and I eat turkey and green things. Come get some.
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